


The Things Hidden in Hedged Gardens

by Ending_Daley



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: AU, Alana has a kid no one knew about, F/M, I think this would be what you call fluff, Mentions of Rape, Will bonds with a 5y.o., Will's dogs get some attention, and I ignore Hannibal's insufferable existence, everyone has a nice day, i don't know what happened, in which Will is a little more stable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-15 22:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1321843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ending_Daley/pseuds/Ending_Daley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alana has a five-year-old secret with a deep admiration for dogs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A particularly bad nightmare had Will fighting with the loose sheets, monsters in his sleep that prevented his reaching her, almost symbolic of his consciousness’ reluctance to let him near her, especially after their shared kiss the week before. His limbs scrambled, his mind searching for reassurance in open, empty oceans. It was her voice awake and alert on the other end of the phone that pulled him from the final strings of his nightmare; that awakened his bones. His heavy heart fell, the hour ticking close to midnight and he had called her in the throes of a sweaty sleep induced panic attack.

She had muttered quick words, promising to be by his side at the earliest possible minute. His stomach shifted, the weight making him heavy as he sat on the edge of the bed, his feet anchoring him firmly to the ground. His stomach churned, the feeling reminiscent to a child who had eaten too much birthday cake. He had let her disconnect the call without telling her she need not come to his rescue. His hand smacked the side of his skull; one hard heavy hit follow by smaller flutters of a humming bird wings, rampant in its insistence.

She already knew he was unstable, she saw it in the way he held himself, eyes forlorn, appearance abandoned. She did not need to see the real destruction, the ugly truth of it seeping through his pours and melting on the carpet. And yet, he wasn’t stopping her.

A small part of his mind whispered almost comically that he was easing her mind, stopping the anxious worry she always seemed to hold in her eyes. There was not use, Alana always worried. It was a constant variable in her personality; something Will knew would never change. He didn’t know the exact details of her story, but he knew enough to know that little Alana Bloom had once been carefree until her brother died. It was a factor to the worry lines that sometimes appeared on her face or the sliver of grey that winked in her eye. It wasn’t the whole story though.

There was something special, extraordinary even locked away in a hedged garden that seemed to be the root source of Alana Bloom’s worry and care. She never spoke, not once in detail about the things that played in that garden, locked away behind trimmed hedges and a wooden gate. He could hear laughter there some days like a child was breaking through Alana’s tough walls. He only ever imagined it was herself, one of her many childhood traumas locking her miniature away for safe keeping. She didn’t just lock herself away in the garden shrouded by constant worry; those she loved remained there to, forever safe and happy if she could help it.

He was sitting in the living room, fingers twitching in his lap when he heard her knuckles rap against his door. His stomach continued to churn, birds taking flight as a sheen of sweat shone on his brow. It was when he pulled the door open the hinges squeaking with the momentum that Will Graham felt his stomach sink further.

Alana Bloom was not alone.

The light from the house poured out onto the porch like molten gold, its warmth enveloping Alana and her companion in a soft yellow hue. She stood, still dressed in the clothes he had seen her in at the academy that morning, child in her arms. Will stared at the strangeness of Alana Bloom standing before him, child’s face buried in her neck, brown curls mixing with her own hair in the air between dark and light. Uncomfortably Alana shifted the child’s weight in her arms while Will proceeded to stare, his mouth agape ever so slightly. The whisper of her voice pulled him back to reality, his jaw snapping shut. “Is everything alright, Will?” She asked, worry evident in her voice. He had called her in the middle of the night, voice heavy, words panicked. It was only a matter of assumption that something had gone awry.

She had to shift the sleeping child yet again to enable her hand to reach out and touch his warm and somewhat sweat coated forehead. Stumbling back a step at her close contact Will let her into the house, a weak half mumbled apology falling from his mouth. “You can put him down if you would like?” Will offered, watching as her arms fought to keep hold of the child’s sleepy weight. He was only half way through his offer when she started to tip toe across the floor, mindful not to stand on scattered dog tails. As she passed each sleepy animal the dog in question raised his head, nose poised to smell the air and unfamiliar yet exciting scent of little boy, cookies and dirt. 

He did not ask about the boy as he watched interest peak in Winston, the question burning his tongue. She trusted him enough, or was at least panicked to the point that she had not thought twice before bringing the child. He did not need to push it. Will Graham did not ask about the little boy.

Finding a blanket folded over the top of the lounge Alana laid it over the boy, tucking it securely under his chin before she slipped off her shoes and moved towards Will. His mind argued that she was a woman on the prowl, the gentle yet assured steps she took dripped of confidence, of intent. But, Alana’s intent was to care, to worry, not the naughty little pictures his mind dared to hope for.

Concern etched its way across her brow as she stood in front of him, her height stopping at his shoulders was a minor fact to Alana as she raised her hand and pressed it to his forehead yet again. She clicked her tongue, the sound almost like gum popping but gentler than that, softer, caring, worried; “You’re warmer than anyone would like.” She muttered, her tongue still clicking.  The sound reminded him of a little girl he met at the fishing dock when he was five, Mary, she clicked her tongue in the same way as she sung ‘ _Hickory Dickory Dock_ ’. It was almost soothing if the stab of a potential friend lost had not wound its way up his throat and lodged itself behind his teeth.

Alana remained oblivious to internal pain as she scurried off to the kitchen, one of the smaller dogs following at her heels. “Why did you call?” Her voice was like twilight in its gentle tones and hushed sounds.

He had followed her to the kitchen, in much the same way as that of the small dog; eager for her to pat down his wild hair behind his ears. He was surprised when anger did not grace her voice. He stuttered for a moment, tongue heavy, mind blurred as he followed her with his eyes her petite body moving around his kitchen as though she inhabited the space. When she pressed a wet cloth to his forehead, the cool soothing feel of it cleared his mind. “I don’t know.” He lied easily. His eyes took in the room around her, only ever settling on the slight curls in her dark hair or the red of her dress. Sensing her disappointment, he heaved; “Sorry. You shouldn’t have to be on nightmare duty.”

Gently Alana shook her head, her hand smoothing down his wild hair. “Didn’t I tell you?” She looked at him, comically puzzled. “I like shooing away the predators at your door.” He opened his mouth; something she knew would be about the inappropriate hour. “I was picking him up from my brother’s anyway; coming here was just a detour.” She nodded towards the living room before turning her attention back to Will. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He only nodded.

“I dialled before I thought. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.” Another lie.

Alana smiled softly, her arms moving to cross over her chest knowing that he could hold the cool compress to his own head. “Your subconscious thought otherwise.” She pointed out with a continuation of her sweetly soft smile.

He allowed a simple rise and fall of his shoulders to answer for him. Will couldn’t help his need to constantly make sure she was okay, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell her that was the case. Not when in his dreams she lay dying, her voice whimpering his name.     

With slow progression they moved back to the living room, Alana’s attention wholly focused on the curly haired little boy, dead to the world on Will’s couch. “You don’t have to stay,” Will started “I’m interrupting your time with your nephew.”

She giggled slightly, the noise alive on her tongue before her face contorted and the sound turned into a dead sigh. “Will.” She called for his attention, waiting for him to look her in the eye she kept er own trained on his face. She had to be honest at some point in her life, and knowing that Will knew of his existence now only meant questions later. She was so caught up in the lie that she just didn’t want to lie anymore. “He’s my son.” Her eye’s flew from his face, getting caught to the light fixtures like an obsessed moth. She couldn’t look at him.

Will did not speak. Alana felt she had to.

“His name is Conrad, and he’s five. I, ah, no one knows about him.” She shifted, her arms crossing defensively over her chest. It would be the only barrier she put between them, she had to get it out. Alana had a perfectly good reason to be defensive and a good reason as to why her own son lived with her older brother. Just like Will Graham, Alana Bloom had once been unstable. She had a rocky few years after the youngest of her three older brothers died, instability, and rebellion. But she grew out of that. Alana found her second and third pairing of daemons after an attack that seven months later resulted in the birth of a premature child.

“I, I couldn’t look at him when he was born.” Her voice shook, air trapped in her lungs. “God,” Her head tilted back, tears burning at the back of her eye lids. “I was so _unstable_ I had to live with my brother!” Alana’s hands were shaking as she rolled her fingers into her palm, the nails biting down sharply. “I love him, I love him _so_ much I just can’t take on the responsibility. I look at him and I remember what happened, everything. Some days I just can’t stop thinking about how he’s going to grow up, who is he going to be more like. I can’t stand the thought of my son being his father.” The garden gate creaked open, and yet the only thing Will could do was hug the woman whose life was laying bare at his feet.

Alana Bloom was as unstable as he was. And most of all, Alana Bloom had a little boy.

He revelled silently in the moment that he got to hold her, his chin resting on the top of her head as he squeezed her tightly. Trying to glue back her broken pieces Will watched as Winston nuzzled at the little boy’s face.

Conrad stirred, a sleepy grumble passing through his lips as a little hand covered his face. Winston’s cold nose fluttered over the boy’s cheek, lulling him with shock out of his blissful dreams. Alana was pulling away from Will the minute she heard the boy’s breath hitch and his shaky exhale. She scooped him up before he could whimper ‘Mommy’. Winston innocently sat at Alana’s feet, his head resting on couch beside her leg, not once did he dare touch the child she was rocking.

Pressing a kiss to his messy chocolate curls Alana focused her energy into the little boy. She loved him, but she could not love him the way he needed her too. Alana whispered to the boy quietly, one hand still playing with her curls while the other scratched Winston behind the ears.

She sat, her head ducked to the little boy’s height as they conversed. Will smiled shyly when Alana pointed to him, a small smile tugging at her lips. He found himself terrified under the scrutiny of the little boy tucked into his mother’s side.

“You have dogs.” Conrad beamed behind a shy smile, his fingers pulling at his bottom lip.

His fingers scratched at the back of his head, Will nodded. “Uh, yeah.” He saw Alana smile; a glorious sun emitting smile. “Do you like dogs?” Taking a step towards them, almost like walking a dangerous plank Will asked his question softly. The boy wasn’t watching the man’s gentle actions, instead he eyed the pack, treasure troves gleaming in his young eyes.

Conrad nodded vigorously, trying to put his love for the animal in a simple nod. “Uh-huh.” He mumbled, Alana’s hand’s stilling his bobbing head. “But, Uncle Benji said I can’t have a dog.”

“Why not?” Will was familiar with the notion, his father’s stern voice ringing in his head. They lived week by week, his father working in various docks up and down the country. They moved when work ran out, or when his father caused trouble with the locals. They couldn’t afford a dog through their lifestyle and their own pocket.

The boy shrugged, childish understanding ringing through his words; “Just ‘cause.” It need not be any more complicated than that. His Uncle said no, that was that for the boy and his wish of owning a dog. Will had moved to stand by the couch, drawn towards the boy’s intense admiration. It was there the little boy caught him completely off guard, his head turning to lock eyes with Will. The man disliked eye contact, it made him uncomfortable, and most of all he found the whole engagement unnecessary. Conrad held him captive. Sincerity shone through in his gaze but it was also that of heterochromia iridum. The little boy before him had one blue eye and one green eye. Will stared with open wonder at the little boy’s appearance, his skin tone was a little bit darker than his mother’s, more honey than pale, his hair held the same colour with a little more curl and his one blue eye held that of the stormy seas that raged in his mother’s expression. “Do they have names?” Conrad’s voice broke through Will’s focus.

Crouching down beside the end of the couch, where Alana was sitting, Will took the little boy’s hand gingerly and reached out for the terribly patient stray whom of which was itching to be noticed. “This is Winston.” Will laughed, as the eager dog nudged the little boy’s hand, directing him to run tiny fingers through his smooth coat.

Scratching the dog thoroughly Conrad looked to Will for further introductions. Sliding across the floor by an inch Will was stopped by the little boy’s hand holding him steady on his shoulder while the child himself slipped down from his mother’s lap. Winston followed lazily as they moved across the floor to another two dogs.

“Sadie.” Will introduced as he took the boy’s hand again and extended it to the patiently waiting animal. “She was here when I moved into this house. Someone just left her behind.” Will added as Sadie looked up at the little boy, her nose on the ground anticipating his touch. Conrad looked appalled, his eyes wide and gleaming with shock. At five-years-old he could not comprehend how someone could abandon such an animal. His fingers graced the top of her head softly before the boy leant forward on his knees, his arms wrapping softly around the dog’s neck as he embraced the gentle creature.

“This one here is Rufus,” Will indicated to the smaller scruffier dog lying beside Sadie. “He found us.” They moved around the room in the misshaped circle the dogs were sleeping in. Will introduced the boy to each dog quietly before giving him a small sentence or two about how the animal came to be in his care. Conrad listened with an admiration that seemed to shine like the boy had not heard words in years. He was lapping at a cool ice-cream in the hot summer months as Will Graham talked, telling him miscellaneous adventures with dogs.

It wasn’t long before they looped back around to Alana who sat patiently, albeit a little tiredly on the couch. She smiled at the little boy, now surrounded by a pack of dogs who were easily counting him as their own. “Can I take one home?” He asked sweetly, thick eye lashes fluttering against his cheeks while he kept his arms wrapped lovingly, if not possessively around Winston.

Alana laughed, short and sweet before she turned disapproving eyes on her son. “Sweetheart, these are Will’s dogs. They’re not for sale. Besides, if you took one home Uncle Benji would be very mad.” Conrad’s bottom lip fell, a pout in the making. He quickly remedied the look at his mother’s swift glare before his face almost split in two.

“It can stay with you!” He bargained seeing no fault in the idea. Alana gave a brisk shake of her head before moving to stand.

“You are welcome to visit whenever you want.” Will spoke up, not quite sure as to where the offer came from. To be honest, he liked the gentle and warm boy with his loving attitude and fondness for Will’s pack.

Conrad’s chin picked up, a grin forming across his face as he looked to Will first and then his dead out of luck mother. The boy flung himself at Will, almost toppling the grown man with his might. “Can I come back tomorrow, Mr Graham?” He asked eagerly, a tone and look on his face that had Will puzzled at how the boy did not already have everything he wanted.

“If your mother says it’s okay.” Will offered a look at Alana before turning his gaze back to the little boy whose nose was nearly against his cheek, his mix-matched eyes pouring into Will like he was trying to devour the man’s secrets.

Defeated, Alana nodded softly, her own son far too persistent for his own damn good. She smiled softly at the frightened man, child wrapped around his torso worshiping the sun and stars he had just created. She watched on quietly as Will Graham in turn embraced her son.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what just happened. It kind of just came out. At the moment it's a stand alone piece but there might be more. Who knows. We'll leave it as stand alone for now. Let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of this got a bigger reaction than I expected. You didn’t ask for a second piece, but I thought why not. I can write these every now and then, permitting school obligations. 
> 
> Note: I rewrote the first chapter, it’s not vital if you read it again but you can if you please. I just wanted to warn you that I changed Conrad’s eye colour from blue, to a thing called ‘heterochromia iridum’ which results in his having one blue eye and one green (just because I can – sorry).

The sun filtered through the orange leaves early that morning, as the cold night’s fog hung to the grass and leaves. He was sitting on the porch steps, steaming cup of coffee sat beside him as the cold nipped at his nose. He watched the dogs run as he kept an eye on the grey sky above them, the gentle sunshine telling fragile lies.

He thumbed through the newspaper in his lap, Winston sitting faithfully by his side as the morning ticked on. He was surprised to find Alana Bloom’s car pulling into his driveway, condensation stuck to her car in the early morning glow. He had offered for the boy to visit, Will didn’t actually think Alana would make good on the late night offer.

Will watched quietly from his place on the steps as she got out of the car. Two of the dogs ran over to investigate the woman as she move for the backseat and opened the door. It was quiet, well-mannered Winston who barked loudly at the car’s contents before bolting toward him. Will jumped up, adrenaline flooding his system as panic towards his dog’s behaviour caused him to chase after the animal. Conrad shrieked as Winston pushed past Alana and climbed into the car, greedily licking the boy’s face. Reaching Alana Will let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Leaning a little too close into Alana’s side Will reached into the car to pull Winston out, muttering apologies as he did so. Nonchalant, Conrad wiggled out of his car seat and slipped past the adults, his feet moving as fast as he could while the pack of dogs greeted him with familiar fondness.

“Sorry.” Will mumbled again as he stepped away from Alana, his feet pulling him back towards the house. With her hands wrapped around a warm travel mug, Alana followed behind, her head shaking even though Will couldn’t see her. “I don’t know what overcame him.”

Blowing on her steaming mug Alana smiled. “Believe it or not, I trust your dogs, Will. I doubt they would hurt him.”

“I think they’re scared of you.” He mumbled back, lazy smile on his face. Alana Bloom was always an image of cool control, Will saw it in her, but knew enough not to be worried. His dogs on the other hand saw a woman willing to lead, and they were best off to behave.

“I think Conrad has begged Benji for a dog since he knew what a dog was.” Will watched her fight sleep, as her head sagged against the porch column. A small smile tugged at her lips before it was momentarily replaced with a flash of pain in her eyes. “Thanks for humouring him.” Sipping on her coffee Alana contently watched her son play in Will Graham’s yard.

Leaning against the opposite rail Will watched her tired face relax. By the time she had carried the little boy out to the car the night before the hour was ticking in the early morning. Decent sleep was definitely something she was suffering deprivation from. “You can go sleep inside if you want.” Alana shrugged before shaking her head and thanking him for his offer. The coffee would kick in and the cold would nip at her cheeks enough to keep her alert.

“Thank you for inviting him over. I don’t think I’ve heard him talk about anything this much since he discovered LEGO.” Alana laughed softly, cup poised at her mouth as she continued to watch her little boy roll and tumble with his eager new companions.

They watched Conrad quietly, birds chirping and dogs barking as the morning progressed. “Mis-t-er Gra-ham!” On the other side of the yard, dogs at his feet, Conrad broke up Will’s name as he called one hand cupping the side of his mouth while the other beckoned him over. Eyes wide Will turned his head to Alana, surely the little boy wanted his mother more than the strange man he met the night before.

“What are you waiting for, Will?” Alana teased, smile on her face as she calmly put her hand on his shoulder. “I trust you.” She added as he moved to stand just because she felt he needed to hear it. Here was a man she mostly avoided being alone with and she was letting him play with her kid. If anything Will was anxious.

He picked up a small jog as he moved across the yard, the little boy still calling out his name. “Do your dog’s know any tricks?” Conrad asked once Will had crouched down in front of him, Sadie nudging at his hand. Will responded in the positive, commenting that they knew how to behave and that was trick enough with seven dogs. Conrad shook his head. “No.” He whined. “Actual tricks!” He jumped on the ball of his feet, his hands facing the sky. “Can they get the newspaper?” Will shook his head. Well, they could, but he never really commanded them to do so and it usually ended up in clumps of drool and shredded articles. “Play Dead?” Again, Will shook his head. He trained his dogs to behave, to respond to simple command, he never got around to the ‘Play Dead’ trick. Conrad clicked his tongue, his blue eyes rolling like a sea of disappointment.

He didn’t know exactly how the child managed to make him feel guilty, but looking at the boy whose face resembled the masculine and yet childish resemblance of Alana Bloom, Will Graham felt immensely guilty for not having trained his dogs to the child’s proper expectation. “Would – would you like to train them?” He asked hesitantly, eyes on Sadie as his hand’s fidgeted in her fur.          

Conrad threw himself at Will, his arms wrapping around the man’s neck as he squeezed as tight as a little boy could. “Oh please, can I?” His voice was muffled in Willi’s shoulder but he heard the boy all the same.

Stiffly Will wrapped an arm around the little boy’s back and returned the embrace. He couldn’t help the smile that tugged on his lips, warm little body hugging him lovingly. “It takes a lot of patience.” He warned, noticing Alana’s alarmed look from across the yard. Conrad nodded with vigour as he took in Will’s words, his whole body shaking with his excitement. “But only if your mom says it’s okay.” Nodding, Conrad detached himself from the man allowing free flight so he could run towards his mother, six dogs following in his steps. It was Winston who stayed behind, he had been the first to follow the little boy but now chose his master’s side.

“What do you think, Winston, will you let him teach you?” The dog nudged his hand.                              

They watched from their place as Conrad flew across the yard and climbed easily into Alana’s lap his little face eager, his eyes begging. Will watched the contemplation on Alana’s face, the worry and the surprise. She wanted to say no. But she couldn’t.  Conrad’s arms wrapped around her neck, the boy visibly squeezing his mother with excitement.

“Mr. Gra-ham!”  Conrad called, now standing beside his mother. “She said yes!”  

 

It took them twenty minutes to load the little boy’s pockets with dog treats, his head filled with rules before he was allowed to join the dogs. The adults watched on from their place on the porch, coffee replaced with a new batch.

Conrad was standing before three eager dogs, the other four inside the house as to not overwhelm the boy, his hand tucked into the pocket full of treats. “Roll over.” He commanded to eager brown eyes. No one moved. Pausing briefly Conrad fell to the ground before rolling over, his pocket scattering treats across the grass. The animals were on him in a second, cold noses nuzzling across the grass and then his face.

The boy cried out playfully as the dogs lavished him with greedy attention. His laughter mixed with the cool morning air, lulling the world into lazy happiness.

“Alana?” Will’s voice tore through their lazy morning, the hesitation making the hairs on the back of Alana’s neck stand up. She looked at him softly, an answer in her eyes. “Did you know his father?” He asked on a stutter, he didn’t want to ask and yet he didn’t know what had come over him in that moment, watching the little boy play happily as though he belonged in that moment, forever rolling on the grass with Will’s dogs.

Alana gave him a shaky nod before she turned back to the little boy, deeming the conversation over.

Conrad’s exhaled vexation could be heard from their silent existence on the porch, his grunt and continued grumble tickling the ears of the tense adults. It was Will who unnaturally reached first, jumping down the small steps he reached Conrad and the bundle of distracted dogs.

“I give up!” The boy sighed, his hands smacking his sides as his face scrunched up, displeased. “It’s stupid, dogs are dumb.” He continued to whine, his mix matched eyes boring into Will’s as his bottom lip trembled.

Will shook his head. “No, no. Don’t think like that. I told you it would be tricky. Just, we’ll give it another go.”

“They ate all the treats.” Conrad sighed, his brow crinkled as he looked at Will with defeat. The older man grumbled something about greedy animals before he told the little boy they would put another two dogs inside. Sadie and Rufus went willingly as their master lead them back up to the house, little boy following in tow glumly.

They returned to the grass, Will holding only a small handful of treats while Winston remained the only dog outside. It had been Conrad’s idea that Will teach the dog first. Holding this close fist out above the dog’s head Will told him to ‘sit’, regardless of the fact that Winston was already doing just that, his tail wagging with anticipation. Will held it for a moment before dragging his arm down and telling Winston to ‘lay down’. Winston followed Will’s hand, the smell of his treat tickling the animal’s nose. With Winston in the second position Will rolled his hand commanding clearly ‘roll over’ when the dog did as he was asked Will rewarded him with his treat and a scratch behind his ears.

Conrad beamed. “Is it my turn?” Will nodded, dropping a treat to the boy’s hand he stepped back, letting Conrad take control of easy Winston. He repeated Will’s actions and words carefully, his face tense with concentration. His face exploded with joy when Winston rolled over completely. “I did it!” He shouted, shock resinating from his face. “I did it!” He looked to Will and then his mom, pride glistening in both of their eyes as he stood there in disbelief.

Without any warning Conrad threw himself at Will giving the man no other choice but to pick him up and hold the boy on his hip. “Thank you.” The child beamed, his smile permanently fixed to his face. Will grinned back, the boy’s pride contagious.

“Now, it’ll take him a while to understand the command without a treat, but now you know how to teach him.” His eyes were on fire in the sunlight, his excitement only fuelling the flame. Putting the boy back on his feet, Will handed over the remainder of the dog treats. He didn’t go back to the porch immediately, instead he stayed standing behind the boy, watching guard, making sure his confidence continued to grow. Winston behaved himself, eagerly following the motions of the little boy’s hand to complete the trick over and over again.

When he did return to Alana on the porch he was followed by a tired, messy haired little boy and his scruffy, obedient four legged friend.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and I didn't really get along this week. I apologise if it is not up to par.

Every second weekend and half of Conrad’s school breaks. That was the arrangement between Alana and her brother Benjamin. It wasn’t legally binding, more on Conrad’s conditions and permitting of work schedules. When Conrad became smitten with Will Graham and his pack of dogs Alana’s time with her son jumped to every weekend. Every Saturday spent on Will Graham’s property, a pack of dogs running between their feet as the five-year-old focused all of his energy into teaching every single one a trick.

After four weeks she was starting to form a distaste for early morning wake ups.

“Mom?” Conrad’s fingers trailed over his mother’s shoulder and up to her cheek. The woman grumbled back at the boy, her eyes squeezing shut against his intrusion. “Mommy?” His voice was whisper soft against her ear as his little, sticky fingers tapped at her cheek.

“Conrad, I swear on heaven and earth if this is about a specific pack of dogs you have another thing coming.” Grumbling into his hair, Alana wrapped her arms around Conrad’s torso and pulled him into her chest. He snuggled back into her embrace, his downy warmth radiating across her chest. She could smell it on him, that sweet newborn smell, the one she turned down the pleasure of living with the day he was born.

He was ripped from her regardless of the choices she had made; his premature birth was a cause for alarm amongst doctors and nurses who rushed him to the NICU. Benjamin always claimed that it made things worse, had she been able to hold Conrad when he was born maybe she would have changed her mind. Instead she was introduced to her baby through the wall of an incubator, wires and tubes sustaining his life.  

The past was behind them now, her brother subtly encouraging a relationship between mother and son enough so that Alana savoured the time she had. Alana had to admit she was somewhat jealous of Will Graham and his strays, Conrad had more interest with them on a Saturday morning than he did the idea of lazing around with her. She longed for the days where her snuggly toddler joined her in bed, neither of them rising until it was imperative that she feed them both. And now, at five-years-old he was already up at the crack of dawn, begging to begin the day.

“Please?” He whispered back, eye lids heavy. She knew if she held on, cuddled him that little bit tighter that the warmth that shrouded them would pull the boy back under, lulling him into an extra few hours of sleep.

Alana hummed back, her breath ruffling his hair. “Jus’ a few more minutes.” The boy grumbled but didn’t put up a fight, the warm air hypnotising him into a heavy Saturday morning sleep. Exhaling deeply Alana let her body relax as she followed her son into their early morning snooze.

When she woke for the second time, the little boy had almost curled himself on top of her, his little head tucked just underneath her chin, his fingers tangled in her hair. The late morning sun trickled against her eyes, stroking her cheek almost as vibrantly as the boy. Her muscles were aching were she lay still enough to not disturb the boy, each and every one of them slowly throbbing for movement. Steadily she raised a free hand to Conrad’s hair, her fingers stroking it back from his warm cheeks as a song from her childhood slipped pasted her dry lips.

_‘Good morning, good morning, it’s nice to see you here. Good morning, good morning, to you.’_ She couldn’t remember the right words, nor the order they came in but it didn’t bother the woman who was suddenly filled with a sunny memory of her mother.  

Conrad mumbled, his hand smacking his face as he moved to rub at it, sleep still trying to claim his mind. Rubbing at his eyes he lazily pulled himself into a sitting position beside her, pout working at his lips.

“What’s wrong, grumpy bum?” She asked, hand skimming across his cheek before she playfully moved to tickle his neck. Conrad shrugged away from her touch, trying to stay mad as a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

On a half yawn he managed to mumble,“’ired.” Alana laughed, sitting up herself she reached for the sleep rumpled boy who slid easily into her lap.

“Well that’s because you were up before the sun was properly awake. We sleep.” She tapped his nose, “Until it’s sunny out.”

“What about on rainy days?” He asked with a small pout, softly explaining that some mornings were darker than others when it rained.

“Then we stay in bed just a _little_ bit longer.” She tickled his sides softly before squeezing him with a hug and finally letting him go. “Pancakes?” She asked him, watching as he scrabbled off her large bed, legs not yet long enough to reach the floor from the top.

Conrad turned to her, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. “Can we get hotcakes to go?” He asked eagerly, hope burning in his eyes. The boy need not explain why he wanted his breakfast on the run. Alana already knew; Will’s dogs.

Cringing before the words even came out of her mouth, Alana knew she had to put her foot down on rules. Her brother was stern, that was one thing she got out of growing up with him and she knew Conrad toed the boundaries on his time with her. She was his mother, not his parent but she needed to make the rules none the less. “No.” She said plainly, adding a stern undertone so the boy knew she would not be trifled with, big eyes and pouty lips would not work on Alana Bloom this day. “We will eat breakfast here and then go to Mr. Graham’s, pending if he’s got plans or not.” The boy pouted regardless before accepting his fate and choosing to leave the room rather than stay.

She was slow with every move she made that morning; taking her time to make pancakes from scratch before making sure each and every one was perfectly golden. Conrad moaned from his place at the kitchen counter, his bare feet padding two and fro as he checked on her timing and meticulously kept an eye on the clock.

“Conrad,” She eventually scolded as the boy almost choked on his breakfast. “Slow down.” He stopped to stare at her, his mouth full. Slowly the little boy chewed the food in his mouth before swallowing carefully. Conrad picked up a permanent pout, as he pulled another pancake to his plate and proceeded to eat it slowly, making sure his mother was aware of his displeasure. Rolling her eyes at the child Alana turned back to her breakfast, finishing it as she normally would.

He was sitting by the door, five minutes after she granted him leave from the table. His impatient foot tapped against the wood floors almost as though he was willing the whole house to hum with his urgency. Alana only walked slower.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to go to Will’s. She honestly didn’t mind spending her weekends on the man’s property, watching the little boy run and play; true happiness gleaming on his face. It was that she knew they were cutting into the man’s time. It was his home, his weekend and most importantly his dogs. Will had granted Conrad with permission to come over whenever he desired, Alana also knew the power of her son’s charm.

Soon enough she ran out of reasons to dawdle. She followed behind Conrad as he ran towards the car, her keys in his hands as his little body practically flew through the air with excitement. They weren’t greeted by dogs when they arrived at Will’s property, just the quiet hum of his solitude.

It wasn’t until she looked up from the phone in her hand, deciding whether or not it would be best to call the man, that Alana realised her son had slipped out of the car and was gingerly pushing his way through Will’s front door.

He tiptoed quietly, through the small house and up the stairs. Conrad found Will in the bedroom, surrounded by dogs as he tinkered with a large motor sitting haphazardly on the floor. “What’s that from?” Conrad inquired, his quiet voice causing Will to jump.

“Conrad, where’s your –“ He was stopped mid-sentence, the sound of Alana’s shoes clacking on the floorboards answering his question. “I didn’t know you were coming over today.”

The boy’s shoulders rose and fell on an exasperated sigh. “Mom took _forever_ this morning.” The look on Conrad’s face told a story of a boy with a shattered world, Will had to hold back a laugh. “So what is that?” Conrad asked again as he nudged his way between Will and Winston before he slid to the floor face bright and ready to learn.

“It’s a boat motor.” Will explained easily.

“What kind of boat motor?”

“A very old one.” Will smiled, catching Alana peering around the doorframe he couldn’t help but feel as though this was a delicate moment, and intricate matter of father and son bonding. Conrad Bloom however was not his son. “They don’t make models like this anymore.” It amazed Alana how quickly the two boys fell into easy conversation, asking questions and receiving answers. She marvelled at their simple ease, boys understanding boys. She could count on both hands the number of times she had snapped at Conrad’s simple questions. Some days her impatience wore thing, other days she just couldn’t find an explanation the child would understand. She was not built for motherhood, Will Graham on the other hand. He was kind and gentle, patient and understanding, he was a man who could shelter children.

Her ears tuned back into their conversation at Conrad’s quite admission, “I don’t know what my dad does.” He replied to what Alana could only assume was a story about Will’s youth; his father working in the boat yards. Alana’s heart stopped, her breathing on pause and Will flashed a look in her direction, her hands gripping onto the door frame. “But, my uncle Benji is a teacher.” The boy continued on his own accord, not lingering on the father topic. “He teaches Lit-er-a-ture.” Conrad broke up the word, struggling with it’s tricky pronunciation. Turning his head towards his mother Conrad beamed when she nodded her head at his correct pronunciation. “That is stuff to do with books.” Will nodded, letting the boy talk as his little fingers brushed over the engine in front of them, Winston’s head on his knee.  “My aunt Margie writes the news.”

“She’s a journalist.” Alana filled in where her son elaborated.

Turning enthusiastic eyes to the boy Will replied. “A teacher and a journalist, you must be very smart, Conrad.” Alana couldn’t possibly have left him in better hands. She left educators to raise her son, family members none the less.

“Yup, I am.” Bouncing on the wooden floors the boy was not modest. “And do you know what my mom does?” Will shook his head, allowing the boy to have his moment while he felt the blush already pinch Alana’s cheeks, deciding whether to be humbled or ashamed. “She does lots and lots of things! She fixes people’s heads. ‘Cause sometimes they get sick in their head. My mommy can fix them. And, she teaches and, and, and she catches bad guys.” Conrad continued to beam, his amazement and pride for his mother shining through every single one of his actions. “What do you do Mr. Graham?” Despite Will’s instance that the boy could drop the ‘Mister’ title and could just call him by his first name, the boy still managed to slip formalities in.

Will shrugged, “I get inside people’s heads.” He explained the very basics. “I can tell the FBI why the bad guy did what he did.”

“Do you have a superpower?” Conrad asked, his head tilting as eagerly as Winston’s when he’s confused.

Will nodded. “Yeah, it’s like a superpower.”

“Does it work on everyone?”

“Only the bad guys.”

Conrad watched the man next to him with a crinkled brow. “Is it scary being in their heads?”

“A little bit.”

“Does my mommy fix it?” He asked, hope shining in his eyes. To Conrad, even with the small amount of time he spent continually in his mother’s care, the woman was his superhero. Will nodded, giving the boy a smile. “Mommy is good at that.” Will agreed easily. “Can I go play with the dogs now?” Ruffling Conrad’s Will nodded his head yet again. The boy jumped up and ran out of the room wagging tails following him as he went.

“You, Alana Bloom, are his superhero.” Will grinned as he moved to stand, Alana still hovering in the door way.

Blush rose on her cheeks, and even though she was feeling humbled there was a dread weighing down in her stomach. “I’m really not.” She simultaneously loved and hated her sons admiration towards her. Some part of Alana felt as though she never deserved his love, that he had no reason to look at her in such a bright light because some days she could not even bear to look at him without knowing the horrors that he came from. “He doesn’t deserve me, Will. Why – why does he have so much faith in me?” Her voice shook a little as they mounted the stairs, the adults following behind the boy as he helped himself to the dog treats, spilling a few extras accidentally on the floor before he was chased to the yard.  

“Alana, hey, stop.” Will took hold of her arms as they stopped on the stairs, she one step above him, levelling their height completely. “No matter what, you _are_ his mom. You’ll always be his hero.”

Her hands twisted to grip onto his forearms; her head kept shaking her hair falling in front of her eyes. “I love him so much, Will. I really do, I just, I can’t ruin his life. I look at him, and I think about what happened and I,” Her mouth was open but the words were stuck. “I can’t do it. I can’t ruin his life because I can’t stop thinking.”

“Stop thinking.” He whispered to her like his words held the meaning of life and the solution to all of her problems. “I know it’s impossible for you, Alana. But just _stop_ thinking. He is a happy and healthy little boy, he won’t turn out like his father. Nothing will go wrong.”

“I can’t do it.” Will shook his head at her answer.

“Yes you can. I _know_ you can. You just need to stop being so scared.” Leaning in she kissed his  cheek fondly before giving him a simple nod, affirmation that she would try to better the life she had with the little boy.

Will wasn’t the one to know that she would be back the next night; make-up smudged, mascara outlining the tears on her cheeks as she stood crying in the dark of his unlit porch. She promised to _try_ but the ultimatum that weighted heavily on her shoulders was something Alana Bloom wasn’t quite ready for.   


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's up a little late. I apologize.

It was like a switch had been flicked in the hours of their separation, one that turned the collected Alana Bloom, into a shaking uncontrolled mess. He was overwhelmed with the responsibility to glue her back together again. 

Alana crashed into his arms, the night dark behind her. He struggled for a solid grasp on the woman whose body went limp as soon as he caught her. She was shaking, not violently but enough to cause worry as hollow sobs escaped her throat.

“Alana?” He whispered into her hair as he tried to tug her into the house, curious dogs milling at their feet. “What happened?” Will asked, panic rising in his chest as the distress rolled off Alana in heavy waves. She was grasping onto his shirt tight enough that Will feared a small tug would rip the fabric. “Is Conrad okay?’ He asked, the silence threatening to choke him with fear. Had something happened to that boy Will himself would be beyond repair.

With her simple stiff nod Will felt relief flood his chest. Conrad was okay, that was the important thing. Yet he was still worried. Alana Bloom was a calm and controlled woman, one who let nothing take her down. But there she stood, barely capable to stand on her own, wrecked with such a fright that Will had no other choice but to be worried as well. She had given him a shaky nod to confirm the boy with his mix-matched eyes was fine, but he couldn’t stop worrying.

“What happened?” He asked again, tension building up in gut, making him dizzy with the strength of it. Her crying was replaced with heavy breaths as terror flashed in her eyes. “Alana,” Will’s voice was stern as he pried himself from her death grip and lowered her to the couch. Squatting in front of her, Will held onto her arms. “You need to calm down.” His voice was level, his words rough as he watched the anxiety continue to blaze in her eyes. She was having a panic attack, he knew that much, he just didn’t know why. “I need you to take a deep breathe.” Will commanded, voice gentle as he squeezed her arms softly. He had her inhale in unison to his own breathing and again on the exhale. He watched calm rise and fall of her chest, her breathing slowing to normal measures.

“What’s wrong?” Will asked again, his voice still soft as he tried to wipe away at Alana’s now ruined make-up.  

Alana shook her head, either to clear her thoughts or to dismiss Will’s question s her hands fidgeted in her lap. “I dropped Conrad back at Benjamin’s tonight.” Will nodded as she paused, her lip trembling. “Benji, he uh. Benjamin has been offered a job.” She tried to keep her voice level but it shook regardless. Exhaling heavily she lifted her head to look Will in the eye. “A really _great_ teaching position has opened up in, in, California.” There it was. The bomb shell that had set her whole body on a ticker. Her face tensed, her bottom lip trembling, she refused to cry.

“Okay.” Will’s voice was level, calm, her anchor in the midst of a stormy sea. He wasn’t pushing for answers or prodding with questions. Quietly he waited, crouched on the floor, until she was ready to continue. He slipped his hands gently from her arms, to her own fidgeting digits, her hands stilling instantly as she gripped back.  

It was Winston who nudged at her side, face turned so the animal could look up at her with sympathetic brown eyes. He left his head to rest on her knee, as though he could console her just the same as his master. Alana did not let go of the life line Will was providing her but she did manage to smile softly at the gentle animal.

“I have two weeks to decide.” She muttered quietly, hiccup catching her words. Alana’s eyes did not leave Will’s and for once the man never wanted to break the eye contact.

“Decide what?”

“If I want to see my son again.” A choked sob fell from her lips abruptly, the woman bending forward, eyes squeezed shut as her hand kept a death grip on the man’s fingers. “I don’t want to lose him, Will, but I can’t, I can’t have him full time.”

Despite the strength she used to grip his hands Will managed to find mobility and room enough to squeeze back. “Yes, you can. He’s your son.” Alana shook her head, conviction burning in her eyes while the dilemma fought a battle in her head. “If you don’t think you can look after him, then fine. That’s okay, but he’ll go to California with your brother and who knows how much you’ll get to see him after that.” Alana broke his gaze, her eyes scattering around the room like a lost animal trapped in a cage. “Either you let go of him now, or you hold on. But if you choose to hold on it has to be forever.” His hands squeezed hers tightly, it was the only way he knew how to draw her attention, to make her listen. He paused, breath caught, memories of his own childhood dancing in his head. “He’s your son, Alana. Don’t give him up.” Will’s words were a plea.  

“I’m not.” She whimpered softly, her eyes still refusing to catch onto his. She was a bird avoiding capture, certain fate pushing her towards the cage. Will sought out eye contact, his head chasing hers as their eyes fought a vicious battle their mouths weren’t ready for.

When he caught her blood-shot stormy blues Will spoke again. “If he goes with Benjamin, you _are_ giving him up.” Alana tried to pull her hands from his grasp, her head turning as tears pooled in her eyes again. “Hey, hey, hey.” Will tried to calm her like he would the dogs. Jumping up onto the couch beside her, he pulled Alana almost forcefully into an embrace. “How about this;” He optioned, holding her like a mother would a fevered child, her head tucked under his chin. “How about you stay the night, get some sleep, calm down and in the morning we’ll go get Con.”

“He has school” She interrupted with sniffle, tears soiling his shirt.

“After school then, okay? You can have him for a few extra days, get to know his weekday schedule. Give yourself two weeks with him Alana, please. If by the end of it you are sure you can’t do this then he’ll go to California with your brother and you will know that _you tried_. He will know that you tried.” 

She sniffled again, lightly the subtle need in Will’s voice encouraging her agreement. “I can try.” He smiled at her, a full blown ‘double watt’ smile, his cheeks dimpling ever so slightly. He looked like a little boy in that moment, he looked like Conrad, curls falling into his eyes as he beamed. One would have thought she had just given him permission to get another dog.

Without thinking, Alana still wrapped up in his arms, Will pecked her fondly on the nose his happy smile vibrating across his body. No one froze at the contact, although she felt it, recognised the touch, her cheeks burning slightly Alana didn’t have the heart to burst his smiley bubble, the one that pulled his guard down that he kissed her with no motivator other than pure joy.

In between the late hours of night and the early hours of morning that melted slowly into the afternoon, Will’s happy, seemingly unstoppable smile dissolved into nervous shakes. She found herself standing on the doorstep of her brother’s Georgetown home holding Will’s shaking hand. It had been a mutual thing, she had to admit, they were both as nervous as the other, Will for meeting her big brother and Alana for his reaction to her compromise.

None the less, Alana Bloom was holding Will Graham’s hand.   

“’Lana!” Her name was called behind them, an exhausted voice filled with admiration and doting. The adults spun, hands still connected as they turned to greet the man climbing up the stairs behind them. “Sorry I’m late, there’s always that one kid who turns up with the world’s most difficult question.” Will stared at the man who was flashing them both a perfect white toothed smile. He was tall, Will noted, a little taller than himself to be exact. He had what Will was recognising to be the Bloom family genetics; dark hair and blue eyes. “I’m Benjamin.” He extended a hand to Will as he unlocked the front door and stepped into the house.

Will extended his own free hand, Alana slowly wrapping herself around his other arm. “Will Graham.”  

Benjamin’s face lit up. “The infamous Will Graham, it’s so nice to finally meet you. Conrad talks about you and your dogs like nothing else.”  Will’s face flushed, he knew the little boy’s opinion of him was one of high standing he had not thought that Conrad would share it with others. “You said you wanted to talk?” Benjamin turned to his sister as they walked through the house and turned into the kitchen.

“I want a trial, before I have to make my decision.” Alana felt ridiculous as she asked her brother for a trial period with her son. Her hands shook as she made her proposal, worry ebbing at the back of her mind that he would just flat out say no.

Benjamin shrugged when she finished rambling, lazy smile on his face. “Can’t see why not. He is your kid, ‘Lana. Do you want to take him tonight?” Alana awarded her brother with a hopeful smile and a nod. When Benjamin moved for the door, explaining to his sister and Will that he would throw a few of Conrad’s things together, Alana stopped him.

“I’ll do it, Benji.” Hopping off the bench stool she had taken residence on Alana hugged her brother and then slipped out the door and further into the house.   

“She’s not planning on leaving him with you, is she?” Benji turned, stern expression on his face as soon as he was sure she was gone. Will shook his head.

“She’s a bit shaky but she wants to do this.”

Benji gave a short nod. “You can’t let her leave him with you, okay.” The look on his face was pure worry as the taller, older man chewed on his bottom lip. “He’s a good kid, he doesn’t deserve the life he was handed. Neither of them do. I should have knocked Isaac’s teeth out when I had the chance.”

“Isaac?” Will stammered, the question tingling on his tongue. Isaac was certainly not a name he had heard in any of Alana’s anecdotes, although he should have just assumed who the name belonged to before the question was out of his mouth.

Benjamin squirmed. “Isaac. He uh, was the guy who, um, got my sister pregnant – by force.” The words fought their way out of the older Bloom’s mouth, his face contorting at the memory. Suddenly it seemed too bright in the spacious white and grey kitchen, their topic one for a dark and dreary room, where the rain battered on the window.

“You knew him?” Will pried. He couldn’t help the questions, he was curious, he wanted to know and yet he didn’t know how to ask the woman who shut down as soon as the topic flashed it’s bruises and fragility on her porcelain flesh. 

Benji shrugged, nonchalant, his action holding bounds of meaning to which tumbled out of his mouth. “Well yeah, we all did. He was the best man at my wedding the night it happened. Bastard.” He took a moment to curse the man and the memory as it flashed in his mind, his sister in her pretty dark blue dress, the forced carefree smile, he didn’t recognise until now, on her face as he kissed her cheek and wished her well. He disappeared on his honeymoon for a month, only to return to his broken baby sister crying on his front step. He was supposed to protect his father’s little girl. “’Lana didn’t tell you?” Will shook his head, face pale as his stomach churned. He knew it was bad, bad enough to wreck Alana Bloom. He expected a dark alley when she was walking to her car. He did not expect Alana Bloom to be raped at her own brother’s wedding by the best man. “Shit.” Benji exhaled, Will repeating the word in his own vexation.

“Look, my sister she keeps things close to her chest, mostly to not let people in but mainly because she’s too busy looking after everyone else that she forgets to let her pain through. Don’t take it personally if she didn’t tell you. Alana’s a healer, she won’t admit to it, but she is. She doesn’t see how her whole being radiates maternal instinct because that jack-off hurt her.  But she needs to realise that he is her son, she needs to take him. I put my life on hold after my honeymoon, to look after her and now to look after her kid. I love my sister and I love my nephew, but I can’t live the life she should be living. She’s not like Mom or Kurtis, she’s stronger than them. Everything in our lives has always shined for Alana.” Benji stopped, his eyes shining with guilt, his mouth poised to continue but he was stopped by a little boy’s shout.

“Will!” Conrad climbed into Will’s lap, his school bag clattering to the floor in his haste. “Why are you at my house?” He pulled back from his attempt at a bone crushing hug to study the man’s for once clean shaven face.

The blonde woman who had followed Conrad in, Will assumed she was Margie, took a place beside Benji; kissing his cheek in hello.“You’re going to your mom’s for a few extra days, how does that sound?” Conrad turned his head away from Will when Benji spoke his uneven eyes wide with wonder. The boy was vibrating, his excitement leaving him unable to sit still as he tucked on Will’s hand and slipped off his lap insisting that he had to pack.

Will let Conrad pull him through the neat hallways, Bloom family pictures scattering the walls amongst various pieces of artwork. When the boy cried out ‘Mommy!’ Will knew, without being told that they had reached the little boy’s room. Conrad let go of his hand as he threw himself at his mother like he had been deprived of her for days. Slowly he stepped into the little boy’s neat room, the walls, as with the rest of the house, were a crisp, clean grey. White accents scattered the room, the wall trimmings, furniture, shelves. Animal stickers were stuck to the wall above the highest shelf, simple silhouettes; a red whale, a dark grey giraffe, a moss green lion. For something so simple it felt like the little boy’s home.

Conrad’s little voice entered the room, as he tackled his mother on the bed. “Can we go see the pack _every day_ after school?” Once, he had called them ‘Will’s dogs’, but now to the little boy they were simply ‘the pack’, just like he went from ‘Mr. Graham’ to informal, friendly ‘Will’.

“Not every day.”

“Some days?”

“Occasionally.” Alana fought, the back and forth flowing between her and the five-year-old with a gentle, childish ease. Conrad jumped off the bed, running for the door he called out to Benji yelling that he would get to see the dogs ‘almost every afternoon’. Alana sighed heavily, her eyes rolling affectionately. Will laughed as he watched her rise and approach him, her head shaking at the boy’s antics.                                                                                                        

Will didn’t have time to react when Alana leant into his personal space, her lips crashing against his gently at first before she nipped his bottom lip and kissed him harder. When she stepped back, their breathing heavy, he only managed to give her a quizzical expression, his words escaping him. “Thank you.” She whispered. “For giving me the strength.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few little notes scribbled down that will get us to a 6th chapter, but it doesn't feel as though it's a conclusion. If there's anything you want to see, let me know. I'll happily take prompts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, but here we go.

He didn’t mind what his life was turning into.

Monday through Friday at roughly four pm, his quiet little home turned into a child’s play ground. Eager and impatient paws scratched at the wooden while the human equivalent drummed against the ground. Noise became a constant, as soon as car tyres crunched in the driveway and doors slammed. Some dogs whimpered as they pushed at each other, impatient for the door to open.

After the first week Will learnt to take a step back. He remained in the kitchen or the living room, sometimes he fiddled around upstairs waiting for the commotion bellow to slow while Alana and Conrad made themselves at home.

“Homework first!” Will heard Alana’s voice, outside but seeping in through the windows over insistent wines. He heard the sound of the boy’s reply but not the actual words as the door downstairs opened on the pack of dogs. Laughter followed paired with a few short barks. Hearing Alana complain about the cold let Will know that she was ushering the boy, who undoubtedly was stuck in the doorway, further into the house. He moved from his place in the kitchen, hot water boiled to smile at the two additions to his home.

Conrad beamed at the man’s appearance, as he shimmied out of his coat and moved towards the table Will left clear for him. “Will, do I have to do my homework before I play with the dogs?” He plopped onto the chair, big pleading eyes staring up at the man who was not used to resisting his gentle, childish charm.

Alana had held full custodial care over her son for a total of three weeks, since the first it had been decided that Conrad did his homework first, played second. Not only was it a genuine rule across the board, it was enforced on the afternoon’s they spent with Will, which had become every afternoon after the first week. “You know the rules, bud.” Will shrugged, his smile apologetic as he ruffled the boy’s hair. Alana’s word was rule, they both had to follow. “What have you got today?” He asked, genuinely interested as he took a seat, eager for the child’s early learning work.

“Spelling words.” Conrad huffed, his whole world corrupted with a smile homework task. “Can I just play for a little bit?” His pout was stuck in place as he shifted through his bag and pulled out his reader. Reaching for it Will pulled out Conrad’s spelling words, reading them he looked to the boy.

“Conrad you know these words.”

“But I can’t spell them.”

“Yes, you can.” His eyes flicked back to the sheet, three letter words, it wasn’t too hard. “C’mon, read it, look at me and sound it out.” Conrad pouted a little harder, defeat flashing in his eyes as he looked at the small words on the page.

Chewing on his lip Conrad looked away from the paper. “Will?”

“Does this have anything to do with your spelling words?” Guilty, Conrad shook his head. “Ten words, that’s all then you can do whatever you want.” Keeping up his part of the rule, Will tapped the page trying to help the little boy to focus.

Conrad scowled at the paper almost as though his sheer will would cause the paper to catch fire. He crossed his arms as defiantly as a five-year-old could and placed them onto the table top. “Dog.” He said, the first word on the list. Will watched the scowl, knowing that the simple utterance of the four legged animal brought a smile and an enthusiastic response every time. “D-O-G. Dog.” A smile nipped at the corner of his mouth as his hand slipped from the table to scratch at Sadie’s soft ears. They continued in the same way until Conrad had finished with his words, but Will still wouldn’t let him up. Adding an extra part to the homework task, he challenged the boy to write the words as well. Conrad huffed.

Alana’s voice echoed from the living room behind them, “Does this read in circles or is it just me?” Her heels clacked against the floor as she approached the table, four pages worth of an essay in her hand. Pushing his glasses a little further up the bridge of his nose Will took the paper, eager to supply the woman with an answer. Alana stopped next to him, her hand on the back of his chair as she watched over Conrad’s shaky letters. “You’re doing great, Con.” She smiled before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. 

Conrad looked up at his mother with bright eyes, the depth of them trying to pull her in to persuasion. “Can I go play with the pack now?” He slipped off the chair as soon as she nodded, his feet falling heavy on the floor boards as the dogs clattered to join him. Finally the little boy got what he wanted.

Slipping into Conrad’s now vacant chair Alana watched Will intensely as his face crinkled, eyes scanning over the essay in his hands. She didn’t realise she was starring until it was too late, but she was caught in the image of him. When she first met Will Graham, and for a little while after that Alana Bloom could only describe him as scruffy. His clothes were crinkled, his hair a mess, he was not the man she expected but knowing about his empathy it all made perfect sense. His grip on reality reflected in his care for himself. He held on so loosely to everything that the opinions and observations of others had not meant much at all. He was a pawn in a system, used for his brain and not his looks.

Sitting next to him now only had Alana notice the clean, crisp presentation of his clothes, his hair, although always a mess pertaining to his curls – a problem she had with her own son – seemed as though he’d even taken the time to comb it. His face was clean, a neat formation of stubble collected around his chin, but it was managed. His skin seemed clearer, his face brighter and for a second she was lost in her amazement of his sudden but subtle transformation.

Her mind was stuck on one thought as she stared at him, her shin resting in her hand; he cared about something enough to keep up appearances.

“My guess is: she had no idea what she was talking about. She was most definitely talking in circles.” Will’s voice broke through her thoughts, hypnotising her back into reality. She nodded, glad that the day wasn’t getting to her enough to read things wrong. Will handed her back the essay, leaving Alana to scribble a few notes on the back of the page.

She hesitated a moment, her mind stuck on a thought mid-sentence when Will spoke again, his voice level but rushed. “I told Jack I’m not going to help anymore.”

Alana shook her head, as though she were rattling the pieces inside her brain, trying to get them to slip back into their rightful places. “I’m sorry, what?” She asked, her eyes practically glassed over with exhaustion. It had been a long day, she wasn’t exactly tuned into the planet let alone the man sitting next to her.

“With cases. I don’t want to help anymore, I told Jack.” She tilted her head, the action reminiscent of his inquisitive dogs. A single word fell from between her lips as she stared at him, her attention now focused. ‘ _Why?_ ’ “It’s stupid.” Will shook his head, his cheeks flushed as his eyes moved to a point in the room far enough away that he wasn’t looking in her direction.

“No.” Alana reached out, her hands taking hold of his onto of the table. Her fingers twined themselves around his much larger ones. “No, it’s not.” She was insistent that he see the world the way she sees it, that he sees himself the way _she_ sees him. Not everything was insignificant and unnecessary. “If it’s something that drove you to stand up to Jack and have him _listen_ then it certainly isn’t stupid, it obviously means the world to you.”

Refusing to break the hold she had on his hands Will optioned to fidget with her fingers instead. Conrad did it sometimes, he noted, when he grabbed the man’s hands, or when he sat in his mother’s lap. Will didn’t quite know when he picked it up from the child, but it had certainly taken a hold of his mind. “It was Conrad.” He whispered, voice so quiet Alana had to strain to hear it. “Every time I’m out there, every time there’s a new case I slip further and further into the mess of it. I can feel it, loosing myself, my mind shrinking away as nightmares take place for reality. I didn’t want to be like that around Conrad. I can’t slip off the edge with him around, it’s irresponsible and reckless. I just, I didn’t want him to see that, he doesn’t deserve it.” Swiftly, his eyes flicked to her face but she had turned away so he couldn’t see her eyes.

“I wanted to be stable for you, but at the same time I didn’t know if I was bracing for impact or if I really felt the way I feel. Conrad cemented it, if I could change for anyone it would be for that little boy.”

“Will – “ Conrad called out, the front door swinging open as he came through it, dogs nipping at his heels. “Mommy, what’s wrong?” He stopped, train of thought abandoned at the sight of his mother, head turned away from Will, tears building in her eyes. She wiped them away quickly, her head shaking to regather her thoughts. “Was that essay in really bad circles?” He asked, only repeating the words he heard before. The noise she made was caught between a choked sob and a laugh, as she nodded at Conrad’s question her arms outstretched for him.

Easily Conrad moved towards his mother, worry etched on his face as he climbed into her lap and they both turned to face Will. Alana held Conrad to her tightly, pressing kisses to the top of his head as he continued to talk to Will as though she wasn’t there. “I taught Rufus to play dead.” His little face beamed, pride stretching in colours across his face. Although the boy had slightly given up on his attempts to teach all seven dogs to roll over, Will couldn’t help the proud smile that nipped at the corners of his mouth, genuinely pleased that the boy achieved another goal. “I can’t show you though.” Conrad sighed, his face somewhat crestfallen at the admission. “He won’t do it again.”   

Will couldn’t help the laugh that crept up the back of his throat. Conrad’s mode of ‘training’ resided in a basic ‘ _get the animal to do the trick’_ and that was usually the end of it. The child, in his age, wasn’t very focused on the hard yards but instead preferred to play. The boy’s choices never bothered Will, as long as the child himself was kind and enjoyed his time with the mass of dogs he was starting to think were his own.

“No, he did it. I promise.” Conrad swivelled in his mother’s lap as she laughed fondly into his hair. The urgency in his voice made a soft demand for the laughing adults to believe them, but they already did. “Why are dogs so hard?” He asked, bottom lip curving into a pout as his brow furrowed and his arms crossed again. “I tried really hard, I did, honest.” Will found himself reminding the boy that dogs, much like anything else, took hard work and quite a bit of repetition. Conrad only nodded glumly. He found joy in the animals easily, but at the slightest nod of his misdoing or incapability he was as upset as the grey weather.

The boy’s thought steered away from the animals, as his mother went back to scribbling notes, bending her torso around his just to reach the table. “Will?” He asked, voice full of childlike wonder. Will fine-tuned his attention again, even though he always found it on the boy sometimes he needed to pay a little more attention than normal. “Were you a boy scout?”

Flashing to his childhood Will knew he never had the time to partake in clubs and activities, working with his father on the docks taught him enough about life and survival skills that he felt as though the money parents paid was ill spent. “Mom said I can join Cub Scouts after my birthday because I’ll be old enough. You could do it with me!” Conrad’s face lit up, his idea gracing his lips as though it were one of the more finer things the boy had come up with.

“He’s a little too old.” Alana chuckled, her eyes turning to Will’s face, the man genuinely considering the child’s offer.

“Hey! He’s going to need someone to help him earn badges … is that what they do?” He turned to Conrad, eyes caught on the boy’s chin. He nodded. “I can assist in that.” He looked hopeful, his eyes lighting up like his eager dogs, happy in their general existence.

The little boy’s face was alight with a fire full of agreement, “Will can help!” he practically cheered as he slipped off his mother’s lap to stand by the man’s side. “Do you think I can get a patch for dogs?” Conrad asked, nudging the older man’s arm.

Will grinned, had any boy deserved a badge commemorating said boy’s work with dogs, it would most definitely be Conrad. If anything, Will believed the little boy was owed the world.

Alana’s phone buzzed at an almost shrill decibel in her pocket alerting the woman, as it had done the week before, that she needed to leave in order to make it back to Georgetown for a patient. Will watched the reluctance flash across her face, her teeth sliding across her bottom lip as she stared at the now silent phone. Conrad made a low noise in the back of his throat, one that could only be attributed to whining as he wound his hand around Will’s arm, a silent plea; _I don’t want to go_.

Thursday afternoons had followed the same pattern for three weeks, Alana’s day’s long, and Conrad’s afternoon’s not filled with enough time for dogs. From four o’clock in the afternoon, Conrad and Alana occupied Will’s home, their time spent marking essays and enticing the five-year-old away from the animals and towards his homework. It was a rushed stop off, that Conrad insisted happened before, at half past five, Alana had to make the half an hour drive into Georgetown for her six o’clock Thursday patient. Conrad went with her, the boy left to be entertained with the desk clerk who answered the phones and organised the files.

It was the first time in three weeks that Conrad had complained. Following his whine the boy hit his mother with verbal pleas begging her to leave him behind. Will watched her blue eyes fade to grey as exhaustion crept up behind her and took hold of her throat, the silent attacker held a hand over her mouth leaving the woman too tired to fight with the boy. Will caught her fatigue before the emotionless words could fall from her lips.

“He can stay if it makes things easier.” Will offered, knowing that it would just be another stop on her way home. He reasoned, persuasion lulling at her exhaustion, loosening its grip. He would have dinner ready for her when she arrived. Conrad would be fed, his homework complete, and every achievable part of his bedtime routine accomplished before her car even pulled up in the driveway.

Alana nodded easily, not up for the fight her stubborn son would produce. Although picking up Conrad would be an extra stop, the promise of food took one thing off her list. “It does, thank you.” She stood easily from her chair, Conrad rushing past her, his glee tickling the outsides of her soul as he disappeared out the front door, calling to a pack of dogs as he went. Will was beside her by the time she turned around, chair tucked in, his hand hovering over her lower back, not quite touching but she could feel the warmth.

He walks her to the car rambling about Mac & Cheese and bed time stories. Alana’s mind was elsewhere as she finally felt his hand connect to her back, her thoughts turning around in her head as she reached for the car door. It only took a split second for her mind to make a rash decision and spin on the spot, her hands rose without complete permission and tangled in the fabric of his shirt. His comment about wanting to be a better person for her son rang in her ears as she tugged him forward and crashed his lips to hers.

Startled, Will froze, every fibre of his being questioning what was going on. She tasted like pomegranates and the occasional chocolate bar he knows she eats, simultaneously sweet and sour. He felt like he could drown in the simple loving touch.

It was Alana who broke the kiss she herself initiated, cheeks flushed as she peeked past his shoulder to watch the oblivious child. “What was that for?” Will asked, breathless, the heat rising to his cheeks as the cool change nipped at his nose.

Dazed, her eyes moved from the boy to the man, the colour back to their vibrant blue. “Stability.” She whispered, her words nearly carried off with the gentle breeze. Gently he ran his tongue along his bottom lip, tasting the remnants of her tingling kiss. It was as though a hungry addiction nudged him forward as Will’s hands fell to her hips, pushing her against the car as he kissed her back, urgency flowing through his bloodstream as the woman met him with her own fierce passion. Her hand on his chest stopped him.

Pulling back Will refused to break too much contact, their foreheads remained touching, as their breath mingled in the gap between them. “I have to go.” She whispered, her reluctance returning. “I should be back, no later than nine.” She pecked his lips quickly before pulling the door open and slipping into her car. “Look after him.” She warned, the window down as she stared at him threateningly.

“We’ll be fine!” Will waved her off, despite the worry settling in in his gut. Alone with a five-year-old, in a place where no one could hear his screams. It couldn’t be too bad.      


End file.
